I often talk about doing our “work”—clearing out our negative patterns and limiting beliefs. We can do this in the moment of upset or after the fact. Though it can be challenging to clear our stuff in the moment, it’s certainly worth it. It may even offer some valuable insight for our day.
I still remember acting from an inspired place one morning in the kitchen while I was making breakfast. I was standing in our newly renovated space, which now allowed me to look straight into our living room. I no longer had to guess what the altercation between my children that I was listening to looked like. It was as if I was watching the latest reality show, except that there was no off switch.
There before me were two beautiful cherubs, screaming at each other about the rules of the latest creative game they were playing. In that moment, I knew that their argument had little or nothing to do with the game. There was more to it. I decided to really observe what was going on. I was not upset or triggered. I just decided to watch from a place of connection with Infinite Love and see what gems were in it for me.
What could they teach me about my own destructive thoughts, habits and ways of looking at life? And how could those destructive thoughts be transformed into useful ones to help me and my kids have the life I knew we deserved? The process unfolded with little effort. I observed, I translated, I flipped what I saw and understood into an affirmation. Here’s how it manifested in the moment:
My son wanted to be the one who made the rules—to dictate how the game needed to be played. The rules of this game could change at any time as long as they benefitted him. He came across as loud and demanding.
Feeling powerless is scary and can lead to attempting to control another. Having some sort of control is better than none.
I don’t need to be in control of anyone or anything else. I am powerful and peaceful and can hand everything over to Infinite Love.
My daughter was crying, screaming and extremely upset because my son was the one who got to make all of the rules. She shouted, “It’s not fair.”
Fear and lack abound. There was a theme of injustice—not having what it was one needed in the moment because of another. This was victim/villain role being played out in full force.
In this human experience, things do not always appear to be fair. I am safe, know what I desire and do not need to participate in this pattern of being an innocent victim.
As I watched the show before me, I jotted down these and a few other affirmations. I came up with about five in all. When I finished, I folded the paper to put it in my pocket for the day, as I often did with things that inspired me. I said NOTHING to my children.
Within seconds, the fighting fizzled out and they began to play peacefully. I was stunned. All I did was objectively observe this scenario, map out what patterning they were playing out and write down replacement thoughts or affirmations to reference throughout the day. (Actions coupled with theory!) Yet everything shifted. It was as if my witnessing my children from a non-triggered, connected place allowed the energy to be seen and released. It was even better than if I did have a switch to just turn it all off. If I had done that, I would have missed the messages that were in it for me.
How could this be? I didn’t second-guess or analyze in the moment. I just said two very powerful words, “thank you.”
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